Tse Moana

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Hippity

Tuesday, February 23, 2016 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

I’ve been having some pain in my left leg. I really noticed it earlier this month after coming back from Amsterdam. We’d been there with the whole team from work to kick off the year. At first I blamed it on the train and the chairs, and just-my-leg. But then I started thinking. And I realised my leg has been hurting more, and differently, than usual for weeks now. Even so that at work the chairs I’ve been sitting in for years are now uncomfortable to me. I even started sitting on a yoga ball and I really like it.

Last week I went to my doctor to discuss this. Based on how it feels and some Google, I figured the issue has something to do with my sciatic nerve. The pain is sharp and can radiate throughout my leg. The doctor did some basic tests and concluded there’s no nerve damage. He gave me anti-inflammatory painkillers for a week and told me to start moving normally again. This was a good point, as I’d been favoring the leg, and that doesn’t help, it only accentuates the bad positioning.

I also spoke with him about getting an x-ray done of my hip. The last time I had anyone look at it was in my late teens just before I decided I was done with hip-doctoring. The doctor agreed that it was smart to get a benchmark x-ray done. He didn’t think there’d be any real issues, but it’s nice to have a comparison picture for later. He got me a referral and I called for an appointment right after. Surprisingly, they had room for me to come in next Monday.

So, yesterday morning I went in for my photo-op. This was done at the same hospital I used to go to as a kid, but not the same hospital I now go to for my gender stuff. So I had to get a new info-card made. Despite handing over my ID, the system picked my old info out of the archives and spit out a card with my current ID picture and my old name 😀 The lady at the desk was quite apologetic about it, and manually fixed the info.

Then it was on to radiology. There, at the check-in desk, they had to remake my appointment in the system to match the new name. I was then sent on to the waiting room and shortly after it was my turn. The referral from my doctor asked for an x-ray and a description comparing it to my last. The radiologist kept me around for a bit to confirm my old data and to verify some things. It turned out that my old x-rays were no longer there, but the description were. So they took two shots, one of my hip in general to compare left to right, and a detail shot of left.

It was supposed to take about four or five days before the files would be back at my doctor. I had planned to call next Monday, but this afternoon the doctor called me. He had already gotten the x-ray and description. As he had expected, there was no cause for concern. There was some degradation, but that is to be expected with the way my hip is wonky. No action is required at this point. Maybe take another picture in another couple years.

The pain is getting better with the pills. It hurts much less now, and when it does, it’s less sharp. I’ve also been paying attention to how I walk and sit to keep doing this normally. I think it’s helping. We’ll see how it goes after the week of pills is over.

Posted in: General Tagged: Health, Me

Ice, Joy

Tuesday, January 19, 2016 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

20160116_185112Saturday Ingrid had her housewarming get together. In the morning I took a quick trip to the town centre to pick up a small gift. I found a pretty vase, vaguely diamond shaped, and a jar of coloured stones to fill it with. I then added a fake flower from my collection for a pleasing little arrangement. In the afternoon I headed over there and had a pleasant time with Ingrid and friends. We all ate together as Anne and her boyfriends made a huge pile of pancakes. Nom!

Gert recently got a train card thing that lets him travel for free during the weekends. So, on Sunday he came over. We had planned to play some games, but we ended up just talking and drinking tea and such. He stayed for dinner and we played with the Monty Python fridge poetry before he had to head back home. I grabbed my bike to accompany him to the station.

20160117_181123It was still cold and occasionally icy outside, so I was pretty careful when leaving. Nevertheless, the ice won. As I turned on to the road from the path beside my block, down I went. Fortunately I wasn’t going fast so I didn’t get hurt. Gert had walked ahead so didn’t even notice. I got back up on the bike and caught up with Gert. He had heard the noise of my bike padlock rattling in the basket when I fell, but figured I rode over a bump 😀

Yesterday was mostly uneventful. So, to compensate for that, my padlock decided to freeze up and stop me from unlocking my bike. I couldn’t even get my key in. I carry a small container of lock anti-freeze in my bag, but that didn’t help. So I had to walk home dragging the bike with me… To say I was ill-pleased is putting it mildy.

Today I went to the movies after work. I’d wanted to see Joy for a while now, but I couldn’t quite make it work time-wise until this week. I was a bit disappointed by the movie. Id’seen trailers and they made it seem like a family drama kinda thing set in the sixties (ish). Plus, Jennifer Lawrence.

A few times during the movie I checked the time, or wondered how far along we were. That’s not a good sign. I didn’t expect the actual plot where she is a regular sort of dead-end housewife who does an invention. The invention goes on TV and becomes popular, then she has to fight over the patent and all’s well that ends well.

There were definitely good bits. Especially the interaction between Joy and her ex-husband is nice. However I didn’t really understand the reasoning behind letting grandma be the narrator when she’s not around for most of the movie. The other family members annoyed the crap out of me. I also didn’t like how jumpy the story became where they would meticulously show everything that happened when it wasn’t really interesting, and then skip parts that I wanted to see. In the end, it’s the kind of movie you watch when you happen to come across it during channel surfing.

Posted in: General, Photos Tagged: Food, Friends, Gert, Ingrid, Me, Movies, Photos, Review, Winter

Cat Cat Cat

Tuesday, December 22, 2015 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

My buds 🙂

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Posted in: General, Photos Tagged: Animals, Captain Blackbeard, Cats, Me, Milo, Monkey, Photos

I Want a Rolling Robot

Sunday, December 20, 2015 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

20151216_092751Wednesday I had another check-up after my surgery earlier this year. I took the bus there, and as such got there early. I had breakfast at the cafe in the hospital. Bread with ham, pineapple, grilled cheesse and apple chutney. Very tasty 🙂 Then I headed for the clinic for the appointment. The scars look really nice, the nipple grafts look good. The left one is even responsive. The only thing that bugs me is that the end of the scar, under my arm, is pointing outwards. The doctor agreed and we decided to get that fixed. Luckily that’s a small job that can be done at the clinic with just some local anesthetic. Just have to wait a while for it to be scheduled.

I then went to work for a few hours after which I met up with Gert to go see Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I really enjoyed the movie. I’ve seen the other Star Wars movies once, years ago. I can’t remember everything anymore but I know enough to be aware of the general story. Plus, with Star Wars being so ingrained in pop culture, it’s hard to miss.

The new movie introduces new main characters while leaving some room for golden oldies to return. I like Rey and Finn and I love the new robot. I’m definitely keeping the BB-8 plushie from last year’s Nerd Block 🙂 The sequences with the golden oldies, Leia, Hand, Chewie, were charming and I hope we do see more of them in the next movies. I’m less impressed with Kylo, he seems too wimpy. But maybe he’ll grow into his boots. Other than that it was a fairly straight forward story with fun action sequences and good visuals.

Then yesterday Ingrid and I went to the Oosterpoort for a concert show by The Kik. We’d been talking about going to this, and then Ingrid gave me the ticket for my birthday. I’d not heard of them before, but the description of what they do sounded fun. They’re a band that plays music from and inspired by the fifties, sixties and seventies. They write their own stuff, but also cover existing songs from that time. The show wasn’t just a concert but a way of walking through their inspirations.

The stage was dressed with a handful of doors in the back, and a cabinet with vinyls at the front. They would pick a record from the cabinet and tell something about the artist or the song and then play a song by that artist, or something of themselves inspired by. Occasionally a doorbell would ring and there’d be a cutout of an artist behind one of the doors as an introduction to another song or bit of talking. It was an energetic and fun show, and I got to hear a new side of Dutch music.

Posted in: General, Photos Tagged: Food, Friends, Gert, Ingrid, Me, Medical, Movies, Music, Nerd Block, Oosterpoort, Photos, Review, Transgender, Transitioning

Amsterdam Pride

Sunday, August 2, 2015 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

20150801_120205I spent the day in Amsterdam yesterday on the KPN boat during the Canal Parade of Amsterdam Pride. It was a fantastic experience, I’m so glad I got this opportunity to go. When I got home last night I was exhausted, but it was so, so worth it.

I drove to Amsterdam with two of my colleagues, Cindy and Thomas. All of us neatly in white pants as required by our organisers. We parked near the station and took a bus to the meet-up point. There we were given our company t-shirt and various decorations.

After waiting until everyone was there, we headed to the embarkation point. Our boat was not quite as large as I had imagined, considering we were about 60 people total. Once we were all on board, it turned out to be roomier than it looked. The boat had a middle catwalk of sorts and underneath were stored boxes of iced drinks. We each got a lunch box and after eating the boat slowly moved out.

20150801_140543We first headed for out waiting spot. There we met up with the other KPN boat. This was a boat without people but filled with screens and cameras. People from all around the world could tune in to a special website and watch the parade live from the camera’s on that boat. They could also leave video messages on the website which were played on the screens during the parade.
Then, when it was time to move out, we took our place in line and the parade started. It was immensely impressive to be there on the water and see the hundred of thousands of people on the streets and on smaller boats along the edges of the canals. All of them happy, cheering, waving. Some throwing beads (I even caught one) or flowers or shooting at us with water guns.

IMG-20150801-WA0022As part of a boat you’re expected to be lively. Each boat generally has their own DJ both to entertain, but also to keep their people motivated to move. I’ve never been much of a dancer, but I never danced this much in my live as on that boat.

The whole parade took about two hours and was, at times, risky. There’s over twenty bridges that we had to pass. None of which can be raised. And some of those are so low that we all had to drop to our knees and duck our heads to not lose our heads.

And every time we got to one of those bridges, we also had to tilt our confetti cannon. Which was a fairly unwieldy thing. I happened to be positioned near it most of the time so I would assist the boat steward with the cannon.

At the end of the parade we were at the other end of the city. While disembarking we ate some finger food that was served and had some group photos taken. After that some people remained in the city, but for us it was time to head back to the North. We took a train back to the station where the car was and headed home. We stopped in Lelystad for a quick McDonalds dinner and made it back to Groningen in a very respectable time, thanks to Thomas’ driving.

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Posted in: General, Photos Tagged: Amsterdam, Culture, Fun, Gender, Me, People, Photos, Pride, Sexuality, Work

One, Two

Wednesday, June 17, 2015 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

Had my final check-up after surgery today. All is well, it’s healing marvelously. I am now officially cleared to fully use my arms/upper chest again, which is really nice. This also means I van ride my bicycle again 😀

In waiting room and the older dude beside me has a fabulous mustache. Nice even grey with perfect round swirls at the sides

— Erik (@TseMoana) June 17, 2015

 

The Time Machine CoverI read The Time Machine earlier this week. I always thought I’d seen the old movie and never gave it much more thought. But when I read the book, I found so many things that were unfamiliar. So I looked up the movie and while scrolling through some photos realised I might’ve seen bits of it, but definitely not the whole movie. So it was a good thing I read the book.

The older language took some getting used to, but once I did, it was a fairly good read. More written like a science report than a novel in places but it has an interesting evolution of humanity.

Posted in: General, Photos Tagged: Books, Gender, Health, Me, Medical, Photos, Transgender, Transitioning

Almost Wordless Wednesday

Monday, June 15, 2015 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment
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June 11: breakfast outside

 

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June 12: baby birds

 

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June 15: Captain Blackbeard is judging you

 

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June 14: shaved and left a tiny mohawk, not bad with just a regular mirror and a tiny hand mirror to check the back 😀

Posted in: General, Photos Tagged: Animals, Captain Blackbeard, Cats, Food, Me, Photos

What a Difference Twenty Days Make

Friday, May 22, 2015 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

I take pictures of my chest every couple of days to keep a record of how it heals and changes and am continuously surprised by how fast it is going. To illustrate, here’s a little timeline from May 2 to May 22.

Timeline

Posted in: General, Photos Tagged: Health, Me, Photos, Transgender, Transitioning

Ten Days and Counting

Monday, May 4, 2015 by Tse Moana 1 Comment
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And so we wait…

As of today it’s been 10 days since I had top surgery.

Back in November I met with the plastic surgeon. We discussed options with the general plan that surgery would be in January somewhere. It ended up taking a bit longer than that, but in early April I got a letter to come in for pre-op consults with the anesthesiologist and the ward staff to make sure they had all their info, and I had all of mine. At that point, they didn’t know a surgery date yet, but I would get a letter.

About a week or so later, the letter dropped. I was to report in at the hospital on Friday, April 24 at 8:30. No more food after 04:00 in the morning, no more liquids after 8:00. So following from that, surgery should be around 10:00 or later. That morning, Mom and Nienke drove me to the hospital and I checked in. I first had to give some blood, and then report to the ward where I was to stay. I got signed in and met with one of the nurses briefly, and then we had to wait a little bit more as my room wasn’t ready yet.

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Off I go!

A short while later, I got shown to my room to settle in and wait. I read my book, Mom her news paper, and Nienke worked. We had to wait for quite a while but eventually, around 10:30, the nurse came in with the gown and told me it was time.

I changed into the gown and got back in bed. The nurse then came back and I got those plastic bracelets with my name and date of birth on each wrist, after confirming the info was correct 😀 A few minutes later, they came to wheel me away.

I was brought to the Holding area, where I got to confirm my identity again, and I got an IV fitted into my hand. The OR wasn’t quite ready for me yet, so there was more waiting. I also hadn’t been drawn on yet, so the nurse there expected them to come and do that, too. However, around 11:30, they were ready for me. So I got wheeled away to the OR undrawn.

Once there, I got to confirm my identity, again, and was asked to move over to the operating bed. After I had done so, the surgeon came in and had me come back off, because he had to draw on me… A few pretty blue stripes later, I got back on the, very narrow, operating bed and got wheeled from the little prep area into the OR itself. There was a final identity check, and a brief conversation to indicate what kind of surgery they were going to do (so I could protest if it was wrong), and then the oxygen mask descended and shortly after, I was out.

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And back I am 🙂 Wearing the compression vest I have to keep on for 6 weeks.

I awoke in Recovery feeling fairly groggy, and thirsty. Of course it took me a while before I could keep awake enough to get a decent situational awareness but once I did, I was given some water and an explanation of the morphine pump attached to me. I could press it every ten minutes if I felt any pain. I pressed it, mainly to try it out, when I started to feel some pain and it did indeed work nice and fast. I was still out of it, though, as I couldn’t read the clock and had no idea of time so I only occasionally pressed. I was also given an ice lollipop for extra fluids, it was the most delicious thing ever at that moment.

Around 4:45ish, I think, they deemed me well enough awake to return to the ward and I got wheeled away again. In my room, Mom and Nienke were waiting 🙂 They stayed for a little while longer and then left about an hour later.

Later that evening, after I’d had some tea and biscuits, finally had had enough fluids inside to warrant a visit to the bathroom. With some supervision from the nurse, I sat up on the bed and tried standing. That worked okay, so I shuffled to the bathroom. When I was done, though, I got the cold sweats, starry vision and dizziness that indicates a fainting is on the horizon 😀

I alerted the nurse and she wheeled the bed to the bathroom door so I could get back in it. Once I’d done that, my blood re-arranged itself as it should and my streak of never actually having fainted continued!

They then gave me some more food (tea, breakfast cake, cheese), as I hadn’t actually properly eaten anything since dinner time on Thursday….

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Bandaged up

I made it through the night okay. I woke up a few times since sleeping on my back isn’t something I’m used to, and I had some occasional pain. My stomach also protested a few times.

I figured the stomach issues were due to not having eaten enough yet, so I had tea and beschuit and yoghurt with muesli and orange juice for breakfast. However, when I went to the bathroom again a little later, my body decided that a rerun of last night’s episode would be good. This time the nurse had a wheeled chair nearby so she got me back to bed quick enough as well.  Perfect streak!

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My drains

After rounds by the doctor, they decided to remove the pain pump since it was probably a reaction to the drugs as well, and I had barely used the pump anyway. To compensate, they gave me a pill 😀

They left the IV needle in, so they had an easy access port if I did pass out or something happened. I’d gotten it bandaged up the night before, as the cold sweats had loosened the sticker, which made it easier for them to hide the loose end.

I spent the morning reading and sleeping, until my stomach decided it hated me and I mass vomited my entire breakfast on my bed o.0

After calling the nurse in, I moved over to sit in the chair for a while, while they changed the bed. We decided that I should eat lightly today, and try sitting in the chair a couple more times. So I lunched at the the table with some clear soup and beschuit.

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Pick-up

In the afternoon, Mom and Dad came to see me. Mom had brought orange juice and cake, which I declined seeing as what had happened that morning 😀 They stayed for about an hour, and Nienke came by afterwards. In the evening, I tried another bathroom visit, and this one went without a hitch 😀 It went so well, I even felt comfortable enough to brush my teeth in the bathroom, too.

Sunday morning during rounds the doctor decided the drains could come out and that the wounds were looking good, so I could go home. The removal of the drains felt funny, but didn’t hurt. I got some extra plasters on it, and then they went to get my paperwork in order.

I alerted my parents and around midday they arrived to take me home. I spent the next few days moving between my bed and the sofa and shuffling around the house. I did a lot of reading, sleeping, and TV watching.

Wednesday I went for my first post-op check-up. They peeled the plasters off and checked the incisions. Then they removed the thingy covering the nipple transplant, which was loosely stitched on, to check that. Everything looked good, so they covered the transplant area again and gave me a bag full of gauze and plasters and such so I could change the dressings myself, daily.

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Home sweet home

The next few days were mostly a repeat of the first few days, except with every day more moving about and slightly less sleeping 😀

The daily changing of the dressing was a bit funny to do the first time. The whole chest area is covered in bruises, but the area around the nipple transplant is still numb so I don’t feel it. I’m keeping up the paracetamol regimen of two in the morning and two in the evening, and am having fairly little pain.

Sleeping is still a bitch as I hate, hate, hate sleeping on my back, but, as they say, this, too, shall pass.

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This is how it looked after I got home from the hospital. These bandages were removed during the first check-up

Today, my additional compression garment arrived. This one is a stretch band with velcro closure instead of the zippered vest. I noticed the arm holes of the vest are fairly tight so it scrapes. I;m hoping the band will be more comfortable. I also started working again. This week I’m working half days from home, and then next Monday, I’ll be going by the office after my second post-op check-up.

 

Posted in: General, Photos Tagged: Dad, Friends, Health, Me, Mom, Nienke, Parents, Photos, Transgender, Transitioning

Wisdom

Wednesday, February 18, 2015 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

I’ve been afraid of the dentist ever since I was about, seven, eight years old. Before, I never had any issues, but then, when my adult canines came through, my baby teeth didn’t budge. So when I went to the dentist for my normal check-up he hmm’d some, and yanked them out. It broke whatever trust I had in him, and I never got it back. I was forced to see this dentist until I turned 18 after which I promptly registered with another dentist, went once and then stopped. In the intervening years, I’d never had any problems with my teeth, so I wasn’t really worried.

About two, three years ago, one of my wisdom teeth came through. It took some time, my jaw isn’t very big so there wasn’t a lot of room for it to enter. It was also hard to reach with a toothbrush but I figured it’d be okay. About a year ago I hit the side of that tooth with my finger while pulling something, piece of popcorn probably, from between the te18eth before it, and I felt a sharp edge.

Over the next year I occasionally felt with my tongue and it kept being there. I knew it had to be a cavity, and that it would probably be best to get it out. So last month, I finally gathered up my courage and registered at the dentist here in town. I went in for a check-up, discussing my fears before hand (loss of control, not knowing what’s going on, not so much pain). So for that first appointment, my dentist just looked and poked a bit and x-rayed my teeth. Turned out my teeth in general are in good shape. I have tartar, but that can be removed. The wisdom tooth, on the other hand, had three cavities. So it had to come out, what I had already been expecting. Fortunately, the x-ray also indicated I have short roots, so it should not be a problem to do so.

This morning, I went in for the extraction. I was actually surprised how calm I was, but I’d been telling myself for weeks now that it was necessary and it wouldn’t be that bad, especially with the roots being short. I sat down in the chair, and had the dentist tell me briefly what she was going to do. Then she injected the numbing agent, once on the inside and once on the outside. This was okay, since I’m used to needles both for injections and blood draws. I didn’t even feel them.

After waiting half a minute or so, she poked my gums to see if it was numb, which it was. Then she started working around the tooth. The pulling and pressure was a bit scary, but since I didn’t feel any pain, I just clenched my hands and managed. Then she clamped the tooth, said I might hear some creaking since it was so close to my ear and then it was out.

Some suction, and clamping down on a gauze, later I could sit up and everything was done 🙂  I had a bit of the shakes as a release from tension, but once I was outside and back on my bicycle that, too, went away.

I rode to the Parents, since it was my free day. I had to clamp down on the gauze for half an hour, so I couldn’t talk very well, but it went okay 😀 I’d been given an extra gauze in case it was still bleeding after half an hour, but that wasn’t even necessary. Once I was gauze-less again, Mom and I went for a wee bit of grocery shopping and then I joined them for lunch.

The rest of the afternoon I rewarded myself with glorious Warcraft (Stable Master achievement, woohoo), and a quick stint of vacuuming 😛

Posted in: General Tagged: Health, Me, Mom, Parents, PC Games, World of Warcraft
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