Medical

I Want a Rolling Robot

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20151216_092751Wednesday I had another check-up after my surgery earlier this year. I took the bus there, and as such got there early. I had breakfast at the cafe in the hospital. Bread with ham, pineapple, grilled cheesse and apple chutney. Very tasty 🙂 Then I headed for the clinic for the appointment. The scars look really nice, the nipple grafts look good. The left one is even responsive. The only thing that bugs me is that the end of the scar, under my arm, is pointing outwards. The doctor agreed and we decided to get that fixed. Luckily that’s a small job that can be done at the clinic with just some local anesthetic. Just have to wait a while for it to be scheduled.

I then went to work for a few hours after which I met up with Gert to go see Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I really enjoyed the movie. I’ve seen the other Star Wars movies once, years ago. I can’t remember everything anymore but I know enough to be aware of the general story. Plus, with Star Wars being so ingrained in pop culture, it’s hard to miss.

The new movie introduces new main characters while leaving some room for golden oldies to return. I like Rey and Finn and I love the new robot. I’m definitely keeping the BB-8 plushie from last year’s Nerd Block 🙂 The sequences with the golden oldies, Leia, Hand, Chewie, were charming and I hope we do see more of them in the next movies. I’m less impressed with Kylo, he seems too wimpy. But maybe he’ll grow into his boots. Other than that it was a fairly straight forward story with fun action sequences and good visuals.

Then yesterday Ingrid and I went to the Oosterpoort for a concert show by The Kik. We’d been talking about going to this, and then Ingrid gave me the ticket for my birthday. I’d not heard of them before, but the description of what they do sounded fun. They’re a band that plays music from and inspired by the fifties, sixties and seventies. They write their own stuff, but also cover existing songs from that time. The show wasn’t just a concert but a way of walking through their inspirations.

The stage was dressed with a handful of doors in the back, and a cabinet with vinyls at the front. They would pick a record from the cabinet and tell something about the artist or the song and then play a song by that artist, or something of themselves inspired by. Occasionally a doorbell would ring and there’d be a cutout of an artist behind one of the doors as an introduction to another song or bit of talking. It was an energetic and fun show, and I got to hear a new side of Dutch music.

One, Two

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Had my final check-up after surgery today. All is well, it’s healing marvelously. I am now officially cleared to fully use my arms/upper chest again, which is really nice. This also means I van ride my bicycle again 😀

 

The Time Machine CoverI read The Time Machine earlier this week. I always thought I’d seen the old movie and never gave it much more thought. But when I read the book, I found so many things that were unfamiliar. So I looked up the movie and while scrolling through some photos realised I might’ve seen bits of it, but definitely not the whole movie. So it was a good thing I read the book.

The older language took some getting used to, but once I did, it was a fairly good read. More written like a science report than a novel in places but it has an interesting evolution of humanity.

Hot Knife through Butter

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SpidermanLast month the League of Extraordinary PenPals had a swap wherein partners each had to buy a puzzle, write a letter on the back, scramble the pieces and mail it off.

Yesterday, my puzzle arrived, all the way from the USA. I built it today and it is: Spider-Man (which, for the record, I think is a dumb way of writing his name).

Yesterday it was also time for my three-weekly shot of testosterone. As usual I cycled to the clinic to see my GP for this. But this time, it was different. As agreed upon the last time around, today was going to be the first time I would do it myself.

I’ve seen him do it since December, so I was pretty sure I got the mechanics down. Of course, in practice a first time is always clumsy as you don’t know the feel of it. I started by breaking the vial so I could suck up the liquid. The vial is tougher than it looks (fortunately). But as long as I remember to keep the black dot at the back, and break towards me, the top pops off just like that.

Then there was finger acrobatics as I held the vial between two fingers and the syringe between two more so I could use my other hand to actually pull up the plunger.

With that done, I sat down, found my thigh muscle, hesitated only briefly and stuck it in. It went in like a hot knife through butter. Smooth, easy and painless. As I hoped it would 🙂

After pulling back a little to check if I hadn’t speared a blood vessel, I slowly injected the T into my body. Since the liquid is so viscous, you have to take your time to do it slow.

Afterwards I spent the rest of the day making something for Ingrid’s upcoming 30th birthday and watched movies (City of Ember, The Hunters, Zathura and Inkheart) and caught the latter half of The Patience Stone, a really good movie with Golshifteh Farahani playing the main character whose husband gets shot and becomes a vegetable. She remains in their war-torn village to take care of him. As he is unresponsive, she just talks to him and tells him of her days, and slowly she starts telling him her feelings and secrets. He becomes her patience stone, a thing from legend that one can say all their unhappiness to until it is soaked through and explodes, freeing the person from sorrow.

 

More Tick Boxes

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As expected, LifeLines wasn’t quite prepared for me 😀

I showed up about half an hour early thanks to Mom who has a habit of showing up here on the early side and driving fast. When we got there, I went to sign in and that’s where the fun started. I gave my last name, and the woman checked her sheet and looked at me, and checked her sheet and her coworker, the actual doctor, checked as well. And they went “but it says ‘miss’ here and it’s clearly a man”. That was very good to hear, but I figured I relieve them of their suffering so I was like “it’s okay, it doesn’t match, I’m transgender”. Which instantly made them very accommodating, they crossed and fixed their sheet and I was asked to accompany the doctor to the exam room.

There she double checked administrative things and fixed what she could there, and promised she would e-mail the head about this, so it goes better next time. Then I was measured and weighed and had my blood pressure taken (which was good), breath sounds listened to and the electrocardiogram done. For that I had to take off my binder, because it requires a handful of electrodes and those require skin contact. She was very nice about it, asking if it bothered me and such. Luckily for me, since I’m on hormones, I’m less bothered by them because I know they’re only temporary now, so it was no problem to take the binder off.

Then after that I got to do the lung capacity test, although I fear it might be slightly below what I would normally score as I was already back in  my binder by then. The whole thing ended with a jump test that measures muscle force when you push off the ground, it was fun 😀

The final thing this time around were two more computer things. First a memory test thing where it shows you cards and you have to press yes or no if you, for example, have seen them before, or if it is a repeat of the card directly before it. The second thing was a fairly standard stress and depression questionnaire.

The follow-up appointment is August 14, courtesy of their full agenda and mine. Then they take my blood, and I get to hand in a giant-ass canister with urine. I also got e-mailed another questionnaire to fill in-

Fluxx

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april27Sunday I did indeed do very little. One of the things I did was watch medieval castle documentaries with Monkey 🙂

Tuesday I ordered a game, called Fluxx. I’d seen it on TableTop before (they played Star Fluxx) and it seemed like fun then, but I forgot about it. Recenty, though, the iPad version was temporarily free so I grabbed it. Playing it I realised what fun it would be to play in real life so I ordered it, along with the newest Science of Discworld book. I didn’t look at the delivery date very closely so I was kinda surprised when they got here on Wednesday.

Unfortunately the Science of Discworld is in trade paperback format so doesn’t match at all with literally every other Discworld book I have. It apparently isn’t out in mass market yet, but I am strongly contemplating replacing it when it does. This just annoys the crap out of me and I can’t even place it on the Discworld shelf because it doesn’t fit.

april30Fluxx was as I expected it, and that night, Nienke and I played it, while watching the relevant TableTop episode.

Also yesterday was a quick trip to the city for a blood/vitals check up to see if hormone levels are all good and such. As usual I was done within ten minutes with the actual consult, and then another ten for the blood draw (including waiting).

Today was the first time I worked from home since transferring to Webcare. It was fun to be able to put Netflix on in the background and just go.

I also started watching 7th Heaven again this week. I used to watch that in my teens when the EO and such were showing it on TV. But they never got past the early 5th season. So at some point I acquired the rest and then it sat waiting for me to actually watch. Occasionally the mood strikes me and then I usually have a couple days where I watch a bunch of episodes. In this way I made it from starting back at epsiode one all the way to season 10. I still have a season and a half to go, so that’s my goal for the coming few weeks, to finish it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grand Adventures

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Had a check-up at the hopsital this morning to test hormone levels and such. Check up was a breeze. Bit of small talk with the doctor about how I was (splendid!) and did I have any questions (nope). Then it was on to the Needle Folk to take a couple vials of blood. Results in two weeks.

Then went to the mall with mom. Bought a book about Groningen between 1780 and 1850. Then we picked up Nienke after her exam and headed for the Hema for breakfast. Then we went to Ikea to look for new sofas.

We sat on many and finally decided to go for Ektorp after all. I decided we should get two three-seaters, since our living room is so huge, as well as the comfy chair that goes with it. I also bought a night stand and a chest of drawers for my socks and stuff like that.

With that being done, we headed for the check out and made an appointment for delivery of all the stuff. We got lucky, they could come and deliver the next morning! Afterwards we headed back home. I took a little nap and then got ready for the team outing. We went for dinner at Pappa Joe, then bowling. I had a great time, and even managed a couple strikes and spares. After our time was up, we headed out to go drink some more. I tagged along, but since that is really not my thing, I left pretty soon after together with two other colleagues. Halfway to the station I realised… I had no key. Nienke had a key. I contemplated going back, but figured I could stop by the Parent’s place and get their key, it wasn’t that late. So I went on towards home, and stopped at the Parents. Where I spent 40 minutes ringing the bell and calling them before mom woke up… She hadn’t heard anything. It turned out Dad had, but thought it was the phone and doorbell of the neighbours……….

After all that time I was rather pissed and freezing so I took the key and went along home to go to bed. Only to get up fairly early the next day because…

Sofa delivery day!

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That is indeed ten packages. The  two big ones are the sofas, the smaller big one is the chair. The three on top are the sofa and chair covers. The long one on the floor is Nienke’s new Billy and the two flat ones below that, the doors for said Billy. Finally, the bigger flat one below the doors is my chest with drawers. Of course I know that Ikea is king of modular furniture and that this would also apply to sofas. But somehow I hadn’t actually thought of the fact that I would be getting lots of boxes instead of ready furniture 😀

Nienke hadn’t come home until the early morning and was still very hung over when the sofas came. So I just left her be and started building, while occasionally sending her a photo. I started with the chair, on the premise that it’s the smallest piece so probably the easiest. And that it was, indeed. The back and the seating are attached so they just folded open. Then it was only a matter of putting some screws in to attach the arms to the frame and the feet to the bottom. Then all it needed was its cover, and done. Monkey approved 😀

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The sofas had the same process, but it took a little longer because of size. Monkey approved of this, also.

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We stuffed the old sofas in the garage and then I spent the rest of the evening building the chest of drawers while re-watching Star Trek: Into Darkness. Then today I skipped Pilates, and built the night stand after which I hit relax mode for the rest of the day to finish Last of the Guardians.

Repetition is the Mother of Knowledge?

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Went to see the gender psychiatrist again last Tuesday for my second of the three required meetings. This time around we only spoke for little over half an hour (as opposed to the hour or so from last time). It was kinda obvious that he didn’t really have anything pressing to talk about so he mostly repeated questions from last time.  When did I first start to feel gender dysphoria, how did that show, how long has it been since I got into the process, have I had doubts since then and so on. I get that he needs to ask the control questions and be sure and such, but it does kinda feel like a waste, especially since I do have to pay part of these appointments myself.

He did bring up the new topic of children, whether or not I want them, and if I planned on saving some eggs. I told him that I wouldn’t mind having kids at some point (not now, though) but that I’ve known since I was a teenager that I never, ever want to be pregnant and that I really don’t care very  much if any children I have are biologically mine or not. I therefore have no plans right now to store eggs. He dutifully wrote it down and impressed upon me the need to think about this. I promised him I would.

For a multidisciplinary team, I find they don’t really have that much of a grasp of the process beyond their own little bit. I asked him when in the physical process, the possibility of egg retrieval would be pertinent and he started repeating the canned explanation on how the transition process goes (talks, referral, hormones, surgery). After I stopped him and made clear that wasn’t what I meant. He said it is done generally before starting hormones, although it might also be possible later on, but before surgery.

So I made a mental note to discuss this with the gynecologist after he green lights me. I really don’t have any plans to store eggs right now, but I’m assuming they can give me some practical info, which might change my mind. I doubt it though.

Anyway. The third, and most likely final, appointment isn’t until October. This means that I probably won’t be getting any hormones until next year, since the psychiatrist needs to meet with the gender team as a whole to green light me. And then they refer me to the gynecologist which has a one/two month waiting list. And the first appointment there is only testing anyway. So I’ll have to wait some more 🙁

The ‘Real’ Shrink :D

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This afternoon I finally had another Gender appointment, after having been wait listed for almost a year. To recap; after getting the Gender Team referral last year, I saw a regular psychiatrist two or three times. Their job was to determine if I was in general mentally healthy and if there were maybe other underlying issues that would need dealing with first. They deemed me perfectly healthy and referred me on to the actual Gender Team. Then I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited some more…

I knew the wait list was gonna be about eight months, but since eight months was, well, in March somewhere, I got worried. Eventually I called them in early May, I think, to ask. Turns out the wait list had grown in the mean time. At that point I was number 9 on The List, and the prognosis was that I would be seen before July. So I settled in and waited some more. May went, June came and as we got closer to the end of June without appointment letter, I started to doubt them.

But! Lo and behold, Friday June 21st came the letter informing me of my appointment. On Thursday the 20th…

After the weekend I called them to verify and turned out the desk people had made a tiny mistake and accidentally printed the date on which they wrote the letter instead of the actual appointment. The appointment was Thursday June 27. Which is today.

I’d gotten leave from work for the last few hours of the day so I could go. Nienke met up with me outside work aroud 14:30, where my Mom picked us up with the car. After an adventurous drive through the inner city, which is a total mess in renovations of road parts and so on, we reached the hospital’s psych building without trouble. Especially since it was the same place I’d been last year.

After checking in at the front desk we sat around and talked for a while until my ‘real’ psychiatrist showed up. We spoke for about an hour, most of it rehashing of what I’d discussed last year. How long have I been feeling this way, what do I want and basically how I approach life and such. It’s his job to determine if I’m serious about being transgender and wanting to transition, and if I can handle all the shit that comes with it. Luckily he didn’t foresee any problems. I will have to see him twice more, as three is the required minimum number. He said he didn’t think we’d need more sessions, so that’s looking good.

After the third session, if all goes well, he will then refer me on to the physical part of the Gender Team so we can get hormone therapy sorted. My next appointment isn’t until August (stupid holidays) but I’m hoping, based on how it went last year, to then have the third session in September, and appointment with the hormone people in October. So, fingers crossed!

The Heart of the Matter

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Dad was diagnosed with severe heart failure earlier this month. After I’d joined the LifeLines project, I invited Mom and Dad to join as well. Mom did so fairly soon, but Dad didn’t until this year. While most of the results from his base line test were okay, the heart graph was off.

To figure out why, he had to go to the hospital where they did another heart graph, which was also off. So last week he had to come back again, this time for an ECG. Then they would have to come back about a week later for the results.
Halfway through the Mom called me (I was watching the dog) to tell me they’d be home later than planned, as the ECG wasn’t good and they would get results the same day instead of later. And indeed, after another doctor came to check on Dad, they brought in the cardiologist who informed them that Dad has heart failure. He was put on medications right away, has to be low active and eat a lot less salt, and had to stop smoking right away.

Last Monday they had to go to the Heart Clinic for a follow up appointment and check up to see how he was doing so far after a week on meds and new regimen.

So, it turns out Dad’s heart has a very low pumping rate, only about 30%, which is like half it should be. He’s getting four different types of medication now: a beta blocker, an ace inhibor, two different ones to help get rid of fluids and something to widen the arteries.
The beta blocker (iirc) has been increased slightly after Monday’s check, and I expect the rest of the meds to be increased and fine tuned over the next few months. So far Dad’s saying that he’s not noticing a lot, eiher good or bad, from the meds. I’m glad he’s not having any side effects (yet?), but I wonder if he should feel different anyway.

Although this could be, of course, because his activity level was low to begin with. So the missive to not do anything intensive is easy, in fact we kinda needed to push him occasionally to do go out and walk or cycle before this. The quitting sigarettes is harder. It went well for a few days but then Mom caught him with a fresh pack of tobacco. She yelled at him and hid the stuff. When I came over Monday to watch the dog again, I then got rid of it.

Mom got him nicotine tablets (afer consulting with the doctor) that he can use if the urge is strong. I’m thinking it’s also just habit for a great deal. He has his set moments where he would go for a smoke out in the garage and that’s his routine. Routines are hard to break.

The Parents were already considering moving house, but this news put that into a higher gear. The yard is really too big for them to properly maintain (and they’re getting kinda sick of the neighbourhood as well). Conveniently, the Housing Cooperation is building new senior appartments in a town nearby. They’d talked about this development before, but Dad vetoed it then. Now, he reconsidered, so Mom called the Housing Cooperation.

Turned out there was one place left, so they immediately signed up for it and were selected. It’s expected the appartments will be ready by next spring, although some sources are saying next January. Since Mom and Dad are the first tenants of the place, they get to pick out the bathroom tiles and what kind of kitchen cabinet doors they want. Dad’s not really into that sort of thing, so I helped Mom with the choices. Fortunately, we agreed on everything right away 🙂

As for the rest, it’s wait and see for now.

Of Sound Mind

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May 18 I had my follow-up appointment with the psychiatrist to complete my gender intake (see also previous post). The Head-Shrink asked some additional questions for about half an hour. Then she informed me that I appeared to be of sound mental health (no other mental things that need addressing/treatment first like, for example, depression or such things) and that she would recommend me to the gender team!

*happydance*

Now all I can do is wait for the appointment there. The Head-Shrink said it might take a while, but the wait list here is lesser than in Amsterdam, so I have good hopes.

*waits*