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Snurgle

Wednesday, June 29, 2016 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

Best thing that happened today? My new vacuum cleaner hose arrived. The old one tore. At first I wrapped it in duct tape, but within a week or two that started to fail as well. So I bit the bullet and ordered a new one. It’s extra long and I’m looking forward to the next time I get to use it (which I normally hate).

Monday I took a gander to the hospital. Nothing serious, it was just time for the long awaited fix up on my left side. After my surgery last year it left a small pointy blob on my left side. A dog ear, as the doctor called it. Nothing serious, but it doesn’t look nice. So after the final check-up in June when they were satisfied everything else was fine, they said they’d fix that later. Last month I got a letter that later was now.

The whole process is just a minor surgery under local anesthetic. Mom couldn’t go with me, but my uncle was so he drove me. All in all the waiting took much longer than the actual procedure. That was done in ten minutes. Nothing more than extending the existing cut a little and removing some fatty tissue below before stitching me up again. And with it being dissolvable stitches I don’t even have to come back.

The night before I had been to visit my uncle and aunt. For coffee and to ask my uncle to go with me. While there, their cat, Tommy, decided attention was needed. Unfortunately their coffee table is too low to dive under and snurgle that belly.

Saturday was a lovely day where me and the parents went out to dinner with another of my aunts and uncles and their kids and grandkids in honor of my aunt’s birthday. We went to this steakhouse were they had amazing meat.

Posted in: General, Photos Tagged: Cats, Eating Out, Family, Health, Home, Photos, Transgender, Transitioning

I Want a Rolling Robot

Sunday, December 20, 2015 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

20151216_092751Wednesday I had another check-up after my surgery earlier this year. I took the bus there, and as such got there early. I had breakfast at the cafe in the hospital. Bread with ham, pineapple, grilled cheesse and apple chutney. Very tasty 🙂 Then I headed for the clinic for the appointment. The scars look really nice, the nipple grafts look good. The left one is even responsive. The only thing that bugs me is that the end of the scar, under my arm, is pointing outwards. The doctor agreed and we decided to get that fixed. Luckily that’s a small job that can be done at the clinic with just some local anesthetic. Just have to wait a while for it to be scheduled.

I then went to work for a few hours after which I met up with Gert to go see Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I really enjoyed the movie. I’ve seen the other Star Wars movies once, years ago. I can’t remember everything anymore but I know enough to be aware of the general story. Plus, with Star Wars being so ingrained in pop culture, it’s hard to miss.

The new movie introduces new main characters while leaving some room for golden oldies to return. I like Rey and Finn and I love the new robot. I’m definitely keeping the BB-8 plushie from last year’s Nerd Block 🙂 The sequences with the golden oldies, Leia, Hand, Chewie, were charming and I hope we do see more of them in the next movies. I’m less impressed with Kylo, he seems too wimpy. But maybe he’ll grow into his boots. Other than that it was a fairly straight forward story with fun action sequences and good visuals.

Then yesterday Ingrid and I went to the Oosterpoort for a concert show by The Kik. We’d been talking about going to this, and then Ingrid gave me the ticket for my birthday. I’d not heard of them before, but the description of what they do sounded fun. They’re a band that plays music from and inspired by the fifties, sixties and seventies. They write their own stuff, but also cover existing songs from that time. The show wasn’t just a concert but a way of walking through their inspirations.

The stage was dressed with a handful of doors in the back, and a cabinet with vinyls at the front. They would pick a record from the cabinet and tell something about the artist or the song and then play a song by that artist, or something of themselves inspired by. Occasionally a doorbell would ring and there’d be a cutout of an artist behind one of the doors as an introduction to another song or bit of talking. It was an energetic and fun show, and I got to hear a new side of Dutch music.

Posted in: General, Photos Tagged: Food, Friends, Gert, Ingrid, Me, Medical, Movies, Music, Nerd Block, Oosterpoort, Photos, Review, Transgender, Transitioning

One, Two

Wednesday, June 17, 2015 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

Had my final check-up after surgery today. All is well, it’s healing marvelously. I am now officially cleared to fully use my arms/upper chest again, which is really nice. This also means I van ride my bicycle again 😀

In waiting room and the older dude beside me has a fabulous mustache. Nice even grey with perfect round swirls at the sides

— Erik (@TseMoana) June 17, 2015

 

The Time Machine CoverI read The Time Machine earlier this week. I always thought I’d seen the old movie and never gave it much more thought. But when I read the book, I found so many things that were unfamiliar. So I looked up the movie and while scrolling through some photos realised I might’ve seen bits of it, but definitely not the whole movie. So it was a good thing I read the book.

The older language took some getting used to, but once I did, it was a fairly good read. More written like a science report than a novel in places but it has an interesting evolution of humanity.

Posted in: General, Photos Tagged: Books, Gender, Health, Me, Medical, Photos, Transgender, Transitioning

What a Difference Twenty Days Make

Friday, May 22, 2015 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

I take pictures of my chest every couple of days to keep a record of how it heals and changes and am continuously surprised by how fast it is going. To illustrate, here’s a little timeline from May 2 to May 22.

Timeline

Posted in: General, Photos Tagged: Health, Me, Photos, Transgender, Transitioning

Ten Days and Counting

Monday, May 4, 2015 by Tse Moana 1 Comment
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And so we wait…

As of today it’s been 10 days since I had top surgery.

Back in November I met with the plastic surgeon. We discussed options with the general plan that surgery would be in January somewhere. It ended up taking a bit longer than that, but in early April I got a letter to come in for pre-op consults with the anesthesiologist and the ward staff to make sure they had all their info, and I had all of mine. At that point, they didn’t know a surgery date yet, but I would get a letter.

About a week or so later, the letter dropped. I was to report in at the hospital on Friday, April 24 at 8:30. No more food after 04:00 in the morning, no more liquids after 8:00. So following from that, surgery should be around 10:00 or later. That morning, Mom and Nienke drove me to the hospital and I checked in. I first had to give some blood, and then report to the ward where I was to stay. I got signed in and met with one of the nurses briefly, and then we had to wait a little bit more as my room wasn’t ready yet.

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Off I go!

A short while later, I got shown to my room to settle in and wait. I read my book, Mom her news paper, and Nienke worked. We had to wait for quite a while but eventually, around 10:30, the nurse came in with the gown and told me it was time.

I changed into the gown and got back in bed. The nurse then came back and I got those plastic bracelets with my name and date of birth on each wrist, after confirming the info was correct 😀 A few minutes later, they came to wheel me away.

I was brought to the Holding area, where I got to confirm my identity again, and I got an IV fitted into my hand. The OR wasn’t quite ready for me yet, so there was more waiting. I also hadn’t been drawn on yet, so the nurse there expected them to come and do that, too. However, around 11:30, they were ready for me. So I got wheeled away to the OR undrawn.

Once there, I got to confirm my identity, again, and was asked to move over to the operating bed. After I had done so, the surgeon came in and had me come back off, because he had to draw on me… A few pretty blue stripes later, I got back on the, very narrow, operating bed and got wheeled from the little prep area into the OR itself. There was a final identity check, and a brief conversation to indicate what kind of surgery they were going to do (so I could protest if it was wrong), and then the oxygen mask descended and shortly after, I was out.

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And back I am 🙂 Wearing the compression vest I have to keep on for 6 weeks.

I awoke in Recovery feeling fairly groggy, and thirsty. Of course it took me a while before I could keep awake enough to get a decent situational awareness but once I did, I was given some water and an explanation of the morphine pump attached to me. I could press it every ten minutes if I felt any pain. I pressed it, mainly to try it out, when I started to feel some pain and it did indeed work nice and fast. I was still out of it, though, as I couldn’t read the clock and had no idea of time so I only occasionally pressed. I was also given an ice lollipop for extra fluids, it was the most delicious thing ever at that moment.

Around 4:45ish, I think, they deemed me well enough awake to return to the ward and I got wheeled away again. In my room, Mom and Nienke were waiting 🙂 They stayed for a little while longer and then left about an hour later.

Later that evening, after I’d had some tea and biscuits, finally had had enough fluids inside to warrant a visit to the bathroom. With some supervision from the nurse, I sat up on the bed and tried standing. That worked okay, so I shuffled to the bathroom. When I was done, though, I got the cold sweats, starry vision and dizziness that indicates a fainting is on the horizon 😀

I alerted the nurse and she wheeled the bed to the bathroom door so I could get back in it. Once I’d done that, my blood re-arranged itself as it should and my streak of never actually having fainted continued!

They then gave me some more food (tea, breakfast cake, cheese), as I hadn’t actually properly eaten anything since dinner time on Thursday….

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Bandaged up

I made it through the night okay. I woke up a few times since sleeping on my back isn’t something I’m used to, and I had some occasional pain. My stomach also protested a few times.

I figured the stomach issues were due to not having eaten enough yet, so I had tea and beschuit and yoghurt with muesli and orange juice for breakfast. However, when I went to the bathroom again a little later, my body decided that a rerun of last night’s episode would be good. This time the nurse had a wheeled chair nearby so she got me back to bed quick enough as well.  Perfect streak!

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My drains

After rounds by the doctor, they decided to remove the pain pump since it was probably a reaction to the drugs as well, and I had barely used the pump anyway. To compensate, they gave me a pill 😀

They left the IV needle in, so they had an easy access port if I did pass out or something happened. I’d gotten it bandaged up the night before, as the cold sweats had loosened the sticker, which made it easier for them to hide the loose end.

I spent the morning reading and sleeping, until my stomach decided it hated me and I mass vomited my entire breakfast on my bed o.0

After calling the nurse in, I moved over to sit in the chair for a while, while they changed the bed. We decided that I should eat lightly today, and try sitting in the chair a couple more times. So I lunched at the the table with some clear soup and beschuit.

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Pick-up

In the afternoon, Mom and Dad came to see me. Mom had brought orange juice and cake, which I declined seeing as what had happened that morning 😀 They stayed for about an hour, and Nienke came by afterwards. In the evening, I tried another bathroom visit, and this one went without a hitch 😀 It went so well, I even felt comfortable enough to brush my teeth in the bathroom, too.

Sunday morning during rounds the doctor decided the drains could come out and that the wounds were looking good, so I could go home. The removal of the drains felt funny, but didn’t hurt. I got some extra plasters on it, and then they went to get my paperwork in order.

I alerted my parents and around midday they arrived to take me home. I spent the next few days moving between my bed and the sofa and shuffling around the house. I did a lot of reading, sleeping, and TV watching.

Wednesday I went for my first post-op check-up. They peeled the plasters off and checked the incisions. Then they removed the thingy covering the nipple transplant, which was loosely stitched on, to check that. Everything looked good, so they covered the transplant area again and gave me a bag full of gauze and plasters and such so I could change the dressings myself, daily.

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Home sweet home

The next few days were mostly a repeat of the first few days, except with every day more moving about and slightly less sleeping 😀

The daily changing of the dressing was a bit funny to do the first time. The whole chest area is covered in bruises, but the area around the nipple transplant is still numb so I don’t feel it. I’m keeping up the paracetamol regimen of two in the morning and two in the evening, and am having fairly little pain.

Sleeping is still a bitch as I hate, hate, hate sleeping on my back, but, as they say, this, too, shall pass.

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This is how it looked after I got home from the hospital. These bandages were removed during the first check-up

Today, my additional compression garment arrived. This one is a stretch band with velcro closure instead of the zippered vest. I noticed the arm holes of the vest are fairly tight so it scrapes. I;m hoping the band will be more comfortable. I also started working again. This week I’m working half days from home, and then next Monday, I’ll be going by the office after my second post-op check-up.

 

Posted in: General, Photos Tagged: Dad, Friends, Health, Me, Mom, Nienke, Parents, Photos, Transgender, Transitioning

In Sickness, Chicken. In Health, Stay Away Until Next Year

Wednesday, March 11, 2015 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

Had another of my every-couple-months check-up of hormone levels and general health. As usual, everything was peachy. Since I’ve now been on hormones for more than a year, and everything’s always been good, I don’t have to come back until January 2016. Yay!

Now I only have to wait for my appointments with the anesthesiologist and the plastic surgeon at the end of the month for the pre-op consults. I don’t have a surgery date yet, but I expect it to be around mid april. We’ll see.

After that, Mom and I decided to go to Paddepoel for a wee bit of shopping. I got new toothpaste and mouthwash and checked out the spring/Easter decorations at the Xenos. I didn’t find anything that particularly struck my fancy so I left with just some tea and the cutest little jar of orange marmalade. I checked out my usual stores, but didn’t buy anything.

Now, Nienke’s been sick for a few days now, and for the last three or so, she’s been craving half a grilled chicken… I’d offered to get her one from the snackbar the other day, but she declined. Being in Paddepoel, though, I decided to bring one anyway. The butcher at the mall is amazing, and not expensive either. I bought a small, whole, grilled chicken to take home. I also got Mom and myself a cookie from the baker next door.

We ate the cookie in the car and then drove home, where Nienke and I ate the chicken. It was glorious! It didn’t end up agreeing with Nienke (not thát weird considering how little solid foods she’s had over the last few days) but it was worth it 😀

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Today was also the first day in many months that I worked on Wednesday. As of this week, the company is no longer permitting the 9-hour work days I’d been doing for the past 9 months or so. I miss them a lot, as the 9-hour days allowed me to work four days and be free on Wednesday. I contemplated going back to 32 hours, but I like my current money. So now I work four hours @home first thing in the morning on Wednesday from 7:00 to 11:00 so I still have as much of the day to myself as I can.

Posted in: General, Photos Tagged: Food, Friends, Health, Nienke, Paddepoel, Photos, Shopping, Transgender, Transitioning, Work, Xenos

That Was Quick

Thursday, August 7, 2014 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

PicsArt_1407412890968_2Letter came today, the changes have been processed, which means I can go in to apply for my new ID 😀

Posted in: General, Photos Tagged: Gender, Me, Photos, Transgender, Transitioning

Glorious Red Tape

Thursday, July 31, 2014 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

Yesterday, my gender statement came in the mail. This is the declaration from the people at the hospital that I am sure of my gender identity and unlikely to change my mind. With it, I can have my name and gender marker officially, legally, changed.

Since they make the changes on the birth certificate, it means I have to go to Groningen for it, as that is where I was born. So, this morning, Mom and I drove to the city to see a man about a horse a city hall person about a birth certificate. I drew a number, we sat down to wait, and wait, and wait.

Once it was my turn, it went fairly fast. The lady had to look up how exactly to do it, as the procedure is fairly new. She then changed the gender marker, and entered my new names. Before, I had two names, after both my grandmothers. Now, I chose to keep the name my parents would have given me had I been born “right”. These are after both my grandfathers. However, since my mother is also named after her father, I felt I also needed to incorporate Dad’s name. So I added his name as an extra middle name. Leaving me, very fancy, with three names 😀

The changes are then pushed through the system so they also reached my current county’s administration. Once that is done, I can apply for a new ID card 😀

Posted in: General Tagged: Gender, Me, Red Tape, Transgender, Transitioning

Repetition is the Mother of Knowledge?

Monday, August 26, 2013 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

Went to see the gender psychiatrist again last Tuesday for my second of the three required meetings. This time around we only spoke for little over half an hour (as opposed to the hour or so from last time). It was kinda obvious that he didn’t really have anything pressing to talk about so he mostly repeated questions from last time.  When did I first start to feel gender dysphoria, how did that show, how long has it been since I got into the process, have I had doubts since then and so on. I get that he needs to ask the control questions and be sure and such, but it does kinda feel like a waste, especially since I do have to pay part of these appointments myself.

He did bring up the new topic of children, whether or not I want them, and if I planned on saving some eggs. I told him that I wouldn’t mind having kids at some point (not now, though) but that I’ve known since I was a teenager that I never, ever want to be pregnant and that I really don’t care very  much if any children I have are biologically mine or not. I therefore have no plans right now to store eggs. He dutifully wrote it down and impressed upon me the need to think about this. I promised him I would.

For a multidisciplinary team, I find they don’t really have that much of a grasp of the process beyond their own little bit. I asked him when in the physical process, the possibility of egg retrieval would be pertinent and he started repeating the canned explanation on how the transition process goes (talks, referral, hormones, surgery). After I stopped him and made clear that wasn’t what I meant. He said it is done generally before starting hormones, although it might also be possible later on, but before surgery.

So I made a mental note to discuss this with the gynecologist after he green lights me. I really don’t have any plans to store eggs right now, but I’m assuming they can give me some practical info, which might change my mind. I doubt it though.

Anyway. The third, and most likely final, appointment isn’t until October. This means that I probably won’t be getting any hormones until next year, since the psychiatrist needs to meet with the gender team as a whole to green light me. And then they refer me to the gynecologist which has a one/two month waiting list. And the first appointment there is only testing anyway. So I’ll have to wait some more 🙁

Posted in: General Tagged: Gender, Me, Medical, Transgender, Transitioning

Blog About Me [10/52] My Best Physical Features

Monday, August 26, 2013 by Tse Moana Leave a Comment

I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with my physical body, mostly caused by the gender dysphoria. Treatment and the surgeries that will follow should fix that. In the mean time, there are some things about my body that I do like 🙂

I really like my hands. I don’t quite know why, but I like their shape, their size, the way the veins and tendons can be seen when I stretch or flex my hand. Even the always-bitten nails don’t detract from that.

I also like my eyebrows and the way they frame my eyes.

I love that despite being overweight and having a more broad/bulky body type, I have a very flexible body.

I’m also quite fond of my internal workings. It has its quirks, but on the whole it’s like my insides are made of reinforced steel and concrete. I hardly ever get sick, no real troublesome allergies (even my hay fever is usually mild), and it generally just behaves really well.

Posted in: Blog About Me, General Tagged: Appearance, Blog Prompts, Me, Self-Image, Transgender, Transitioning
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