Health

And So It Begins…

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Today I registered at the gym in town. I wanted to do something about my general physique and stamina and such for a while now, but now that I’ve started T, it’s easier to build muscle. Plans are to do about three group lessons a week, and after a period to get used to it, to add solo work on the various devices. I hope to gain in the torso/upper arm area, build stamina and lose more weight. Although it would probably be good if I also got rid of the candy crap then 😀

Hit the city as well today. Went looking for new bags, one for my laptop as my current 17″ doesn’t fit in the 15″ bag I have, and a new messenger bag for work. Unfortunately I didn’t find any that were both pretty and in my price range. Did buy a game (Black Stories), and a trash bin at Xenos.

The ‘Real’ Shrink :D

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This afternoon I finally had another Gender appointment, after having been wait listed for almost a year. To recap; after getting the Gender Team referral last year, I saw a regular psychiatrist two or three times. Their job was to determine if I was in general mentally healthy and if there were maybe other underlying issues that would need dealing with first. They deemed me perfectly healthy and referred me on to the actual Gender Team. Then I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited some more…

I knew the wait list was gonna be about eight months, but since eight months was, well, in March somewhere, I got worried. Eventually I called them in early May, I think, to ask. Turns out the wait list had grown in the mean time. At that point I was number 9 on The List, and the prognosis was that I would be seen before July. So I settled in and waited some more. May went, June came and as we got closer to the end of June without appointment letter, I started to doubt them.

But! Lo and behold, Friday June 21st came the letter informing me of my appointment. On Thursday the 20th…

After the weekend I called them to verify and turned out the desk people had made a tiny mistake and accidentally printed the date on which they wrote the letter instead of the actual appointment. The appointment was Thursday June 27. Which is today.

I’d gotten leave from work for the last few hours of the day so I could go. Nienke met up with me outside work aroud 14:30, where my Mom picked us up with the car. After an adventurous drive through the inner city, which is a total mess in renovations of road parts and so on, we reached the hospital’s psych building without trouble. Especially since it was the same place I’d been last year.

After checking in at the front desk we sat around and talked for a while until my ‘real’ psychiatrist showed up. We spoke for about an hour, most of it rehashing of what I’d discussed last year. How long have I been feeling this way, what do I want and basically how I approach life and such. It’s his job to determine if I’m serious about being transgender and wanting to transition, and if I can handle all the shit that comes with it. Luckily he didn’t foresee any problems. I will have to see him twice more, as three is the required minimum number. He said he didn’t think we’d need more sessions, so that’s looking good.

After the third session, if all goes well, he will then refer me on to the physical part of the Gender Team so we can get hormone therapy sorted. My next appointment isn’t until August (stupid holidays) but I’m hoping, based on how it went last year, to then have the third session in September, and appointment with the hormone people in October. So, fingers crossed!

The Heart of the Matter

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Dad was diagnosed with severe heart failure earlier this month. After I’d joined the LifeLines project, I invited Mom and Dad to join as well. Mom did so fairly soon, but Dad didn’t until this year. While most of the results from his base line test were okay, the heart graph was off.

To figure out why, he had to go to the hospital where they did another heart graph, which was also off. So last week he had to come back again, this time for an ECG. Then they would have to come back about a week later for the results.
Halfway through the Mom called me (I was watching the dog) to tell me they’d be home later than planned, as the ECG wasn’t good and they would get results the same day instead of later. And indeed, after another doctor came to check on Dad, they brought in the cardiologist who informed them that Dad has heart failure. He was put on medications right away, has to be low active and eat a lot less salt, and had to stop smoking right away.

Last Monday they had to go to the Heart Clinic for a follow up appointment and check up to see how he was doing so far after a week on meds and new regimen.

So, it turns out Dad’s heart has a very low pumping rate, only about 30%, which is like half it should be. He’s getting four different types of medication now: a beta blocker, an ace inhibor, two different ones to help get rid of fluids and something to widen the arteries.
The beta blocker (iirc) has been increased slightly after Monday’s check, and I expect the rest of the meds to be increased and fine tuned over the next few months. So far Dad’s saying that he’s not noticing a lot, eiher good or bad, from the meds. I’m glad he’s not having any side effects (yet?), but I wonder if he should feel different anyway.

Although this could be, of course, because his activity level was low to begin with. So the missive to not do anything intensive is easy, in fact we kinda needed to push him occasionally to do go out and walk or cycle before this. The quitting sigarettes is harder. It went well for a few days but then Mom caught him with a fresh pack of tobacco. She yelled at him and hid the stuff. When I came over Monday to watch the dog again, I then got rid of it.

Mom got him nicotine tablets (afer consulting with the doctor) that he can use if the urge is strong. I’m thinking it’s also just habit for a great deal. He has his set moments where he would go for a smoke out in the garage and that’s his routine. Routines are hard to break.

The Parents were already considering moving house, but this news put that into a higher gear. The yard is really too big for them to properly maintain (and they’re getting kinda sick of the neighbourhood as well). Conveniently, the Housing Cooperation is building new senior appartments in a town nearby. They’d talked about this development before, but Dad vetoed it then. Now, he reconsidered, so Mom called the Housing Cooperation.

Turned out there was one place left, so they immediately signed up for it and were selected. It’s expected the appartments will be ready by next spring, although some sources are saying next January. Since Mom and Dad are the first tenants of the place, they get to pick out the bathroom tiles and what kind of kitchen cabinet doors they want. Dad’s not really into that sort of thing, so I helped Mom with the choices. Fortunately, we agreed on everything right away 🙂

As for the rest, it’s wait and see for now.

Meh

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I have a sick.

Must’ve caught a random wandering virus somewhere as I am now dizzy, nauseous, feverish, have a head ache, protesting muscles and am squarely out of energy. I assume this will all pass in a few days, so in the mean time, I read and browse the internet. And I will probably blog, since my backlog of links and things I want to post has built up. And it’s been a while since I posted anything proper about myself and my life anyway.

So there, expect bloggage over the next few days.

Of Sound Mind

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May 18 I had my follow-up appointment with the psychiatrist to complete my gender intake (see also previous post). The Head-Shrink asked some additional questions for about half an hour. Then she informed me that I appeared to be of sound mental health (no other mental things that need addressing/treatment first like, for example, depression or such things) and that she would recommend me to the gender team!

*happydance*

Now all I can do is wait for the appointment there. The Head-Shrink said it might take a while, but the wait list here is lesser than in Amsterdam, so I have good hopes.

*waits*

Shrinkage, or, My Family is Awesome

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I saw the psychiatrist today for my gender intake. I was a little bit disappointed, I was (calling all stereotypes) expecting a couch or at least a comfy chair to be present but no such luck. Ms. Doctor and I sat at a regular table with regular chairs and talked for about an hour and a half.

Obviously it covered the gender feelings and when it started and how it manifests and stuff like that, but also more generalised questions about feelings and behaviour, mental health family history, current and past life circumstances etc… All this so they can determine not only if the gender dysphoria is severe enough to warrant transitioning, but also to check if there might be other mental issues that might need attention first, and to see if I have realistic expectations of this whole process and if I can handle it and have a support system and such.

Ms. Doctor is going to discuss this with the Head-Shrink and then I get to come back for another appointment with both Ms. Doctor and the Head-Shrink. I’m very curious about it, the first appointment turned out to be a reasonably pleasant experience.

 

Going back in time a little, last Saturday I (or rather, we) told (a large part of) my extended family about my being transgender. My Mom had already told a few aunts/uncles but we decided that Mom’s birthday party on Saturday would be an excellent opportunity to tell the others. So, during the day we told the family from Dad’s side, and in the evening Mom’s side of the family all showed up so we told them.

It was a really positive experience. I was pretty nervous beforehand (and I imagine Mom, too), but all reactions we’re positive and basically boiled down to “if this is how you feel, and you’re serious about it, then we support you”. I really could not have asked for a better reception. I expect that from here it will trickle down to various cousins (in so far they don’t see one of these posts via Facebook or Twitter).

Ribs

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So… I fell down the stairs at the train station last Monday. I was on my way home after work and had to make the transfer from the train to the bus. To do that, one has to go down some stairs, walk a few yards and then go up some stairs again. It was raining pretty hard so I ran down the stairs, as I usually do.

At the bottom of the stairs the ground is a bit uneven, and with rain it forms a big puddle. To keep from getting wet feet, I usually jump from the last tread over the puddle. However, this time, that didn’t quite work out as it’s supposed to…

Somehow I landed wrong, I’m not sure what happened, but I sort of fell and rolled and landed against the little wall that separates the foot path from the bicycle path. With my ribs.

This was apparently a scary sight as someone who saw me fall screamed. I got up pretty fast, but had all wind knocked out of me so I leaned on the wall to regain my breath. I was shaken, but felt okayish, nothing broken and such, so I answered affirmative when asked if I was okay.

After a couple breaths I went on, I had to catch the bus, after all. I got on the bus, sat down and felt exhausted. I managed to show my ticket and just leaned backwards to settle down. As the bus went on the move, my vision started to get blurry. Like when in a movie or something it starts raining and the drops hit the lens. I got cold and felt myself starting to sweat. My mind was all clear though so I realised that I was this close to fainting.

A lady sitting across got a bit worried and asked if I was okay. She hadn’t actually seen me fall but heard the commotion. I told her I was okayish, just needed to not faint. She kept an eye on my while I waited for the faint to pass. This took about 5-8 minutes, and then my vision cleared up and the cold went away and stuff.

When I got to my stop, I got off and crossed the street to the supermarket. I’d promised Nienke I’d buy ice cream for dessert. I was still a bit woozy, and it was still raining so I stood under the store canopy and called Nienke asking her to pick me up at the store, which she did. She laughed at me after I told her what had happened 😀

Later that evening, and definitely the next day I realised that not only where my knees pretty bruised up, my ribs where too. Yay for that, bruised ribs tend to take a while to heal :S

So here I am, near a week later, my ribs hurt, my friends and colleagues are sympatethic, and making fun of me (as I expect them to :D) for body checking a wall…

 

Time

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I need more time. Or maybe just better time management…

The puppets are feeling sorry for themselves since they’re still only just a body with a head (although I have made George a leg to go with his solitary arm, and I attached said arm).

My Book Club books are also feeling neglected. I haven’t finished The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms yet (although I’m far enough in that I can finish that tonight) and haven’t even started on Chill. Saving grace on that is that I’ve read it before so I should be able to do a post about it and discuss along a bit.

My blog is lonesome since I’ve only been doing the regular theme posts of late (weekly four, P365) and not very much personal blogging or one of the other varieties of theme blogs I have going on.

On the up side, I’m no longer sick, I’ve a reasonably uncluttered house these days and Monkey’s paw is as good as better. That counts for something right? 😀

It’ll right itself next month, I expect. New years usually start of a bit rough 😀

Weekly Four: Week 2

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LOL, good start to a new year, forgetting the first Weekly four…

I’m grateful for feeling better. Flu’s mostly gone, some remnants in terms of a still occasionally stuffed nose, and a cough that isn’t quite gone.

I’m happy the LOTR games were good. I don’t get to play games a lot so it was nice to finally be able to play them and learn that they are actually fun.

I’m annoyed (slightly) that whenever I decide to make stuff, I always end up having to stop half way because I don’t have everything at hand. Fortunately this time around there is other stuff I can do in the mean time.

I taught myself some form of the blanket stitch, but I’m not sure it’s the proper way. It gets the job done though 😀

Puppets

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I can tell I’m feeling better. I’ve been doing little of anything the past week (good excuse though, had the flu) and more of that today, but as the evening came on I was feeling restless and wanting to DO!

So I brainstormed and figured out I wanted to make puppets. Inspired by the ones Signe @ Dapper Dier makes. Since they will end up very similar to what she makes, I decided I’m going to make boy puppets (since all I’ve seen from Signe are girls). I’ve made a list of the types I would like to make, and found the pattern online. Had some issues in printing it so will need to borrow Nienke’s printer tomorrow.

As I was making the list, Nienke asked if I would make one of her. Of course I said yes. I started with this one tonight as it’s a bit easier than the rest. Not just because I know exactly how I’ll be making her, but also because it’s okay if I mess up the proportions a little in free drawing the pattern 😀

So far I’ve made her pattern and cut the pieces. I’ve started assembling the body and the head, but have come to a standstill since I have no stuffing. And cottonwool doesn’t really work very well. Fortunately I’ve a short day on Tuesday which will enable me to go to the market in the city and buy various craft related things.

While doing this I’ve been watching the latest Grey’s Anatomy and some more Once and Again. Ended just now with a good chunk of Hamlet with David Tennant. Couldn’t finish ’cause I’m getting too tired, and I can’t do it to Nienke to finish this without her.

Photos of progress tomorrow 🙂